Lighthouse

by CCZH

I’ve been reading many poems recently, all while sipping on a piping hot cup of green tea. As pretentious as it sounds, I’ve really come to love these little pockets of time away from the vigours of academic work. A good poem, as I found, is very much like a good meal. It fills you up, and leaves you warm long after. And like any good meal, it’s not meant to be rushed through. You savour it, word by word, rolling it around your head, getting every last bit of meaning and feeling out of it, before swallowing it with a triumphant gulp.

Another observation I made in my virgin months as a college student is the blistering, or should I say, alarming rate in which my schoolmates are finding partners. The obvious blow to my self-esteem aside, it makes me wonder what it feels like to have that special someone in my life. I think it’s truly a blessing, and a great honour, to have an individual willing to make such a huge commitment to you. It’s an affirmation of the highest order, and one that should never be taken lightly. Maybe my time hasn’t come, for I’m still chasing the stars. But regardless of the final outcome, I maintain that it’s infinitely better, as Lang Leav said, to love who we want rather than to love who we can.

Unable to contain my joy, a beaming smile spread across my face. At that precise moment, I realised what a blessed man I was. I am blessed to be able to call these people seated around me, and indeed many others, true friends. I am blessed to have family members that love me unconditionally, who support me regardless of my decisions, and who are more than willing to guide me through the maze of life. I am blessed with the gift of education, to be able to fill my mind with knowledge that will enable me to make my mark on this world. And above all, I am blessed with the gift of life itself, to experience this wonderful universe from my little perspective.

These months have been tiring ones, filled to the brim with trials and tribulations, heartaches and disappointments, with only the occasional ray of light breaking the dark clouds. Bathing in the waters of negativity, I struggled to keep afloat. That is till I stumbled upon my old blog post. It was a timely reminder of the treasures I already possess, and it gave me renewed strength to forge bravely onwards. I often get comments that my blog posts can be sombre, or maybe even a little dark, but this one post is akin to a lighthouse. It guides me safely to shore, no matter how rough the seas, and always without fail.

Malacan is a term that I proudly bestow upon my closest friends, and I’m happy to say it’s these Malacans that keep me grounded. In a cut-throat, sometimes even barbarous world, they are my pillars of support. It may sound clichéd, but I trust and know that they will always have my back. I met some of my secondary school friends over the past week, and to see their youthful faces, and hear their unrestrained laughter again, it sure brought back more than a few fond memories. Seeing them stuff their faces with pizza, and twirl in the evening drizzle, I couldn’t help but smile. And as I sauntered home, brimming with elation, I thanked the moon. I thanked her for what I have, and for what I have yet to call mine.

CCZH