Desire (Part 2)

by CCZH

They say great men never leave unfinished business. I dare not say I’m a great man, but I can promise to finish what I started four months ago. The first part of Desire chronicled my rather ambivalent approach to life in junior college, and the second, which will soon follow, will offer a hindsight to my rather gloomy prognosis. Now that I’ve been a post-secondary student for the better part of a year, I can confidently say not much has changed since the golden graduation badge was pinned on my collar.

The personality test administered on me during the first week of school indicated that I’m a thinker rather than a feeler. In essence, the seventy multiple-choice questions that I answered over the course of an hour concluded that I follow my head rather than my heart. Excuse me for being distrustful, but I beg to differ. As much as it seems untrue to those who don’t know me well enough, I’m very much a people person. I love forging and maintaining close relationships with those whom I feel are worth the commitment, and I decide their worth not based on the material benefit they can bring to me. I love people for who they are and how I feel about them, my heart ruling strongly over my head.

What was bothering me then, you may ask. It was the friendships that were simply not to be. I am sure most of you had someone in your life that you thought were the one, but your relationship could not stand the test of time, or the test itself revealed certain incompatibilities that ended it. Similarly, you might have had someone you were dying to be friends with, but the opposite party did not share your enthusiasm.

These words, though written a full four months ago, still stay hauntingly true. In a short span of time, I’ve met plenty of people, some more deserving of my love than others. Attempting to love everyone is a noble pursuit indeed, but at times I doubt even God has the heart for that. At the same time, there are those who possess magnetic personalities, drawing all to them much like how a lamp would attract flies to its comforting glow. Friendships never come easy, and at times, they are nigh impossible to attain. As a firm believer of quality over quantity, all I hope for are people whom I can share a meaningful conversation with over a nice meal. Friends who will always have your back and be there for you at their own initiative. That, above all, is what I hope to find in my two short years as a college student.

“If I miss you, I’d stay back for three hours for us to conveniently go home together and say that I had work to do when in fact I spent the time counting the hands on the clock. If I realized that you were feeling down I’d take time to pen a short letter of encouragement or bring comfort food for you in the pretense of bringing it for myself.”

For confidentiality reasons, I won’t disclose the source of this beautiful quote, but I’m highlighting it as it struck a chord with me. A wide smile adorned my face as I was reading that post, and I carried those pleasant thoughts to bed. Those two simple sentences represent the epitome of a good friend, one that loves you unconditionally and cares for you without seeking acknowledgement. If you, my dear readers, have such a friend, I implore you to repay the silent sacrifices made for you. You might not think much of it, but a word of appreciation goes a long way. For all you know, that might be the first step in establishing a lifelong friendship.

CCZH