C C Z H

Underneath the concrete bridge where we stood, we were sheltered from the pouring rain. My hair was a mess, a slimy mix of water and styling wax. I ran my fingers through my fringe, sending it arcing upwards before it collapsed, forming a cocoon-like structure. The chilling wind was incessant, chilling our soaked bodies to the core. Taking a seat on the roadside curb, I pat the space beside me with my palm as an inviting gesture. Obliging, my partner laid a plastic bag carefully onto the damp stone before taking a seat. What a clean freak – I guess that explains why we’re kindred spirits.

Neither of us pulled out our cellphones, nor did we exchange derogatory jokes. No, we had the simplest of conversations, sharing with one another how our lives have been since the last time we met. And boy, what a conversation it was. Excuse my inability to find a more apt description of my feelings then, but I felt warm despite the unfriendly weather. When you are in the presence of someone whom you feel genuinely cares about you, there’s a certain warmth that emanates from them. You can spend an eternity basking in their radiant light, and you’ll love every second of it.

Make no mistake, I’m a big fan of humor, conversations with me are typically loaded with jokes and satire. There is nothing that makes me happier than bringing a smile to someone’s face, too much of it though, can be exhausting. NASA’s rocket landings, the prettiest girl in school, plans for tomorrow’s lunch, topics like these are commonplace. Meaningful conversations like the one I mentioned above? They are few and far between. After all, not every friend is one you can share everything with, and vice-versa.

I define a true friend as one you can bare your true self to, your flaws, insecurities, problems, failures, all without the fear of judgement. Whilst scouring the internet for quotes in hope of a brilliant idea for a blog post, I came across this.

“You cannot truly love the person you are afraid to lose.”

My first reaction was to forcibly expel air from my nostrils. Hmph. What utter nonsense, I thought. Pardon the cliché, but that night as I lay in bed, it struck me how true this was. Raw honesty is needed for a true friendship, however uncomfortable it might be. How many friends do you have that tell you without hesitation that you’re being selfish, or arrogant? How many friends do you have that you can share your most personal problems with? If you’re afraid of losing someone, you wouldn’t be overly harsh with your criticisms of them, nor would you expose your less-than-perfect side to them. The fear of saying something that would end the relationship, it keeps you from attaining the ultimate level of friendship. In short, you might have fun with them, but it wouldn’t, and never will be, a transparent friendship. Burying secrets and discontent might buy time, but there’s only so much you can bury before they break the surface and reveal themselves.

I apologise for the lower quality of writing this time, but I needed to get this off my chest. My thoughts may be disorganised, but I hope you get the gist of it and appreciate the informality of it all. Words are sacred, and some of them are worth more than others. Those of lower value, like humor and idle talk, might bring laughter. Priceless words of care and concern, for example, bring much more with them. Choose wisely, for the value of your words hinges on your decisions. And the repercussions? You alone shall bear. The question is simple, what do you want to be remembered as? A true, trustworthy friend? Or maybe your wish is simply to be a harbinger of good times and nothing more.

CCZH

Sources: Jamie Varon